Most parts of the article are taken from HBR blog post "The Thought Patterns of Success"
Step One: Identify Harmful thoughts, this is the trigger. Have an action plan.
Step Two: Implant the helpful by talking out loud and
Flawed Evaluation of Worth
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Harmful
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Helpful
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| I am important and of value because of what I achieve, produce or have. Therefore if I stop achieving, producing or having, my life no longer has value, meaning or purpose. | I am of value because of who I am, not what I do. I am a unique individual whose life has a special purpose regardless of what I earn, accomplish or own. |
| Perfect is the only option. Less than perfect is failure. | Perfection is an ideal abstraction created by my mind that can not exist in the reality of an imperfect physical world. I can choose to adapt my evaluation methods so that less-than-perfect is still seen as a success. |
| I am only as good as my last achievement. If I stop or rest or don't perform to the same or better level in the future, I will lose everything. | Every life experience offers an opportunity for growth. Each day, I can do my best, correct my mistakes, and learn for the next time I meet a similar challenge. My past provides a secure foundation for my future. |
Sense of Over-Responsibility
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Harmful
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Helpful
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| If everything doesn't go according to plan and make everyone happy, it's my fault. I should have planned more, done more, been more. | Activities rarely go exactly according to plan and often times, no possible scenario could make everyone happy. I take responsibility for the areas within my control but release responsibility for those outside of my control, including unforeseen circumstances and others' emotional responses. |
| I can only rest without guilt once all the work is done. If I stop any sooner, I am lazy, selfish and irresponsible. | There will always be more work to do. By choosing to rest at reasonable intervals, I increase my productivity, accomplish more, enjoy life and stop feeling resentful toward others who take breaks. |
| My needs are the lowest priority. I will only get enough sleep, eat well, exercise and do activities I enjoy once everyone else has their needs — and most of their wants — met. | It's good for me to be considerate of others' needs, but I also have a legitimate need for proper self-care. When I take time to nurture my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health, I have a greater capacity to truly connect with and support others. |
Insecurity in Relationships
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Harmful
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Helpful
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| Everyone is watching and evaluating me. If I don't appear to meet their standards for outward success, they will think badly of me. | I can choose to not allow my perception of other people's opinions of me dictate my opinion of myself. I am free to live as I please and make the choices that are right for me. |
| I'm bad at forming and maintaining relationships. I can never make my friends and family happy so why should I try to have a life outside of work? | It may not be easy for me at first, but I can learn how to form and maintain better relationships. I may not always meet everyone's expectations, but I have a better chance of success when I make a good effort. |
| I feel in control at work because certain actions predictably produce specific results. It's too much of a risk to venture into areas where I don't always know what to do, and I can't count on other people's response to my actions. | I can choose to stay in a place of security and isolation, or I can choose to open my life up to others. I may experience some loss of control, but ultimately I create the possibility of great joy in true relationship with others. |
